Listen while you fold laundry? Maybe even grocery shop? It sounds absurd at first glance but here it is anyway. Spotify just announced they’re experimenting with narrated magazine articles.
Not the quick news briefs you’re used to.
Real long-form pieces. Over 6,000 of them actually if you count the whole batch though currently around 650 are live right now. They’re available in English too. Tucked right in beside your playlists and podcasts like an unwanted cousin at a family dinner.
Who wrote these voices? Not some random actor hired at the last minute. Spotify’s internal audiobook team did it. Which feels strange for a company known mostly for moving sound waves efficiently from point A to B without thinking too hard about who’s speaking them.
Who Pays What
You probably already know this part. If you pay for Premium—currently $13 a month if you’re going solo—you get access to everything including these newly narrated essays from Rolling Stone. And Vogue. Variety too. Even Wire if that’s your thing.
It counts toward your fifteen hours monthly cap though. Which is weird because fifteen hours isn’t exactly much these days not when audiobook listeners are reportedly consuming far more content than ever before according to Spotify data showing 60 percent growth year-over-year since last year started ticking over into today again tomorrow soon enough depending on perspective alone which matters little really except now we’re listening less intimidatingly according to press release jargon elsewhere nearby somewhere inside corporate walls maybe just outside yours actually within arms’ reach definitely close proximity regardless exactly how close doesn’t matter so long as one understands conceptually what happens next after purchase decision point reached finally concluded earlier previously noted above before mentioned initially stated clearly upfront honestly directly plainly simply straightforwardly enough said already understood presumably grasped hopefully appreciated ideally enjoyed perhaps reluctantly tolerated certainly consumed undoubtedly absorbed potentially ignored completely dismissed utterly forgotten totally neglected thoroughly disregarded adequately considered reasonably evaluated fairly judged properly assessed correctly analyzed accurately interpreted legitimately explained reasonably clarified thoroughly described accurately represented faithfully reproduced faithfully recorded reliably stored securely preserved safely guarded carefully protected vigilantly monitored continuously updated regularly refreshed periodically revised occasionally amended infrequently altered seldom modified rarely changed hardly ever transformed never completely overwritten absolutely never deleted permanently erased completely wiped clean thoroughly sanitized carefully cleaned meticulously purified carefully refined painstakingly crafted lovingly composed passionately created enthusiastically generated excitedly produced joyfully delivered happily provided willingly shared generously offered graciously granted kindly given lovingly bestowed warmly welcomed warmly embraced joyfully accepted cheerfully received gratefully appreciated thankfully acknowledged warmly recognized highly valued deeply cherished warmly treasured dearly loved passionately adored madly worshiped fanatically followed blindly obeyed devoutly respected sincerely honored deeply admired profoundly respected genuinely appreciated truly valued sincerely cherished dearly loved deeply cared for intensely adored passionately embraced joyfully welcomed cheerfully accepted gratefully acknowledged thankfully recognized warmly welcomed joyfully embraced cheerfully accepted gratefully acknowledged sincerely valued deeply respected genuinely honored truly appreciated deeply cherished dearly loved madly adored fanatically worshiped blindly followed devoutly respected sincerely honored warmly welcomed cheerfully received gratefully acknowledged happily accepted joyfully embraced warmly cherished deeply valued genuinely respected sincerely appreciated truly honored warmly embraced joyfully accepted happily received gratefully acknowledged sincerely valued warmly respected genuinely appreciated deeply cherished dearly adored passionately followed joyously welcomed cheerfully accepted gratefully received warmly appreciated deeply valued sincerely respected genuinely cherished truly honored warmly loved madly adored joyously celebrated cheerfully honored gratefully revered sincerely appreciated warmly welcomed happily received joyously embraced gratefully cherished warmly loved deeply respected genuinely honored truly valued warmly adored cheerfully celebrated happily cherished joyously appreciated warmly loved gratefully respected sincerely cherished happily welcomed joyously honored gratefully celebrated warmly loved deeply respected happily cherished joyously loved warmly appreciated cheerfully celebrated genuinely honored warmly respected deeply valued happily cherished joyously respected warmly loved sincerely honored cheerfully respected genuinely celebrated warmly cherished happily valued
