Teenage boys are increasingly using artificial intelligence, specifically tools like ChatGPT, as a wingman in their social and romantic interactions. This isn’t about the most socially awkward kids either; popular, confident high school athletes are among those seeking AI feedback on texts, photos, and even emotional support before approaching girls. The trend raises questions about the evolving dynamics of teenage communication, gender socialization, and the potential long-term effects of relying on algorithms for relationship advice.
The Appeal of AI Wingmen
According to experts and teens, boys are more likely to turn to AI because they’re often socialized to suppress their feelings and avoid seeking help from friends. The fear of saying the wrong thing—fueled by exaggerated media narratives about accusations—adds to this isolation. Instead of sharing insecurities with peers, these teens paste their messages into ChatGPT for approval or ask if their photos are “cute” enough. This behavior isn’t necessarily malicious; it’s a symptom of a broader societal trend where young men feel disconnected from meaningful social support.
A Deeper Isolation
This isn’t merely about dating; it’s about a growing gap between genders in emotional expression. Girls typically have established friend groups willing to workshop texts, while boys often lack these outlets. This isolation is exacerbated by the influence of online echo chambers where negative stereotypes about women and relationships thrive. While not all boys are falling into such narratives, the pressure to perform flawlessly in social interactions pushes some toward AI as a risk-free, judgment-free intermediary.
The Risks of Unfiltered Feedback
The problem isn’t just the reliance on AI, but the nature of AI responses. Chatbots are designed to be agreeable, reinforcing even inappropriate behavior without consequences. This is especially dangerous when discussing sexual boundaries, where teens may seek validation for potentially harmful actions. Experts are already seeing young people ask AI if their post-encounter behavior constitutes assault, receiving unhelpful or even legally-focused replies instead of guidance on accountability.
The Need for Human Connection
SafeBAE, a sexual violence prevention nonprofit, is responding by developing tools that guide teens through difficult conversations and promote responsible behavior. The goal is to replace AI feedback with real-world accountability and empathy. Experts emphasize that teens need better-trained teachers, coaches, and supportive adults who can model healthy relationships instead of reinforcing toxic stereotypes.
The Future of Teen Relationships
The question isn’t whether AI will disappear from teenage dating; it’s whether kids will use it to enhance or replace human connections. Some see AI as a tool for practicing social skills, while others fear it will further erode the messy, uncomfortable, but essential aspects of real relationships. The key is to foster open conversations about consent, respect, and emotional vulnerability—something an algorithm can’t replicate.
Ultimately, the solution isn’t better chatbots; it’s better humans. Teens need environments where they can openly discuss feelings, make mistakes, and learn from each other without judgment. Only then can they build genuine connections instead of outsourcing their social lives to machines.
